Monday, August 29, 2011

The Battle I Want To Win

The battle I want to win is the one that I fight every day in my own mind. The one where I am fretting with
furrowed brow, tense in my shoulders and my stomach in knots. The battle that just will not let me relax. Why is that? I have all I  could ask for. My children woke up healthy this morning. My husband is working, he still has a job. Another day has dawned, fresh with a beautiful sunrise. Autumn breezes are teasing me. The little one sings songs to Jesus at the top of her lungs. I AM BLESSED. {Why do I stress?} All I can figure is the enemy is trying to steal my joy through my own imagined fears and I strap the saddle on and let him ride me until I am weak and angry.

This makes me tired. And yet, I really can't figure out why I can't let it go.  The only thing I can pinpoint is that I am not praying as much as I am fretting. Yesterday we sang "Living By Faith"

It goes like this:

" I care not today what the morrow may bring, if shadows or sunshine or rain. The Lord I know ruleth over everything and all of my worry is vain."

We all, the entire congregation, sang it like there was no tomorrow.

What a hypocrite. I can sing it. I just can't live it.

I care not today what the morrow may bring,
If shadow or sunshine or rain,
The Lord I know ruleth o’er everything,
And all of my worries are vain.
Living by faith in Jesus above,
Trusting, confiding in His great love;
From all harm safe in His sheltering arm,
I’m living by faith and feel no alarm.

Though tempests may blow 
and the storm clouds arise,
Obscuring the brightness of life,
I’m never alarmed at the overcast skies—
The Master looks on at the strife.
I know that He safely will carry me through,
No matter what evils betide;
Why should I then care though the tempest may blow,
If Jesus walks close to my side.
Our Lord will return for His loved ones some day,
Our troubles will then all be o’er;
The Master so gently will lead us away,
Beyond that blest heavenly shore.

I have had sweet reprieves from this and it was most often when I was actively  counting my gifts.
Today, I will purpose to fight. When the enemy tries to steal my joy I will count. When he causes me to load my back with the weight of fear, I will remind him that I serve the one who knows my future. I can trust Jesus.


- Those sweet souls who call me Mom and wake me with kisses
- The Lord who, although He knew me, still died for me
- The man who loves me with his whole heart and never loses faith in me
- that I have come far enough to know I don't have to believe the lies of the enemy 
-sweet autumn breezes
-helpful older children when I wake with a sick headache
-faithful friends
- mercy, new every morning
-I still love homeschooling
- www :)
- I am stronger when I pray
- "I love you mom" whispered in the middle of the night by that sweet 2 year old
-little girls swinging
- young lady of mine, learning to drive (really?)
-sweet young man who rubs my aching head 
-wonderful cup of coffee hand crafted by that sweet young lady and brought to me with a kiss (in this mug) :)

Ahh...I feel better already!

Oh, one more.....the music on Ann's blog........


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